What do you want?

What do you want? No, it’s not a statement. I’m sincerely asking.

Ever find yourself in a situation where you seem to be sacrificing your needs and your wants for the needs and wants of another? Of course you do. We’ve changed into a society that feels bad saying “no” to someone; how could you have not felt that way before? 

A lot of us, not all, feel the need to please others and a need to feel accepted by others. We look for validation from sources other than our selves and in doing so end up sacrificing what we ultimately want for what the other person wants. 

For example, all through out my life I’ve been living to please my parents. Studying, going to school, going to college, and pursuing something medical related…that was all for my parents. All through college I found myself sacrificing my time to help others with their problems only to find that this act actually hurt my chances of achieving something. Yes, it’s my fault. I don’t blame anyone for it other than myself. I wanted to help. I wanted to give up my time. I did it. No one else but me. 

Am I complaining about it now? Not really. I do have my moments where I regret doing some things but whats the point in regretting? It won’t bring my time back or it won’t change my situation; might as well move on and make better use of my time instead of pouting and complaining. 

These days I continue to ask myself “what do I want?” As a result, I am where I am because of it. I’m on a marketing team, a complete 180 from my previous position, enjoying my job and having fun learning something new. Did I take a huge pay cut from what could have been my salary in a couple years? Sure, but this is what I want to do now. I want more experiences and a different outlook on life other than something science related. When people ask me for things, I consider my options. I wonder if this will negatively affect or if I can accomplish their request without sacrificing my needs at the same time. I’ve begun to ask the question; have you? 

I want to help people that were like me realize something. This life is your own and it’s short and cruel. Yes there are benefits to sacrificing your time for someone else but at the same time live your life. Don’t miss out on opportunities for the sake of others just because you feel there will be some negative backlash as a result of saying no. If they can’t understand that you have a life to live as well, then maybe they don’t know you as well as you thought. 

People like you and I who tend to say yes majority of the time find it to be a habit at times. We do it without knowing it and regret it to a certain degree later. We miss out on opportunities and brush it off as something that will eventually come back to you. They say karma is a bitch; it definitely is. It’s a bitch when it comes back around at you negatively and its a bitch when the good never seem to find its way back to you. 

We do things out of the goodness of our hearts from time to time so you may not be expecting things back, but there are times when we lose what could have been a life changing moment due to our habitual selflessness. Not everything that you missed will make its way back to you if you wait. Consider your options and choose knowing that the chance may never arise again. 

So ask yourself, “What do I want?” It’s okay to be selfish, after all, this is your life so you should live it; no one’s going to do it for you. Run after what you want. Take control of what you want. Have flexibility in your sacrifices and know when to say “no.” Life is too short to let things slip through your fingers while others grasp it at your expense. 

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