So, to stray from my streak of seriousness, yes streak even though I’ve only posted two, I’m going to tackle this question that I’ve never been able to find an answer to.
Don’t give me that answer of “he’s a doll so Christopher Robin didn’t put it on him” nonsense. If the bear can reach into a honey pot or even go up on to a tree to grab a beehive to find honey, then he can find some legitimate clothes to wear.
Tigger wears no clothes so he’s a nudist, piglet is always in some old swimsuit looking thing so he’s covered, and the rest, well none of them really wear any clothes. So why just Pooh? Now I’m finding out that people have “Pooh Parties” meaning that everyone is required to only wear a shirt. No pants, no shoes, no underwear; just a shirt. THEN I came across a shirt that had Pooh and Tigger jumping into a pool. Why is it that Pooh is shirtless in that picture but wearing swimming trunks?! I just don’t understand!
As trivial as this whole thought process or rant may be, it bothers me. The lack of any kind of logic in the matter, doesn’t matter if he’s a cartoon or not, just irks me. I’m sure there are other characters that share the same kind of idiotic clothing malfunction, but maybe it’s because I’ve been called Pooh Bear for so long that I’m starting to feel a little more animosity towards the subject. Why is this idiot not wearing pants?! Why is that considered adorable? If it is the case that Christopher Robin put the shirt on him, then where the hell are the pants? Preoccupied with playing with the other stuffed dolls my ass! The shirt itself is too small for the fat ball of fur as it is; not giving him pants is like an insult to injury. I swear to god I’ve seen pictures of Pooh Bear depicted as a cub and he’s wearing diapers… I’m sure he takes a crap where ever the hell he wants as it is! Why the diaper?
It’s funny how all these questions appear just from the initial question of why he wears no pants. It greatly confuses me. What’s a bear to do? Either wear the whole god damn outfit or just don’t wear it at all! Christopher Robin, that neglectful SOB, can suck it haha. The damn bears outgrown his shirt from ages ago…at least have the decency to replace the damn thing.
So here’s my take on it.
1. Christopher Robin is an ass. I don’t care if he’s a kid or not, he’s still an ass for not giving the bear pants. I’m sure he’s got tons of them in his room that he can’t wear.
2. Pooh doesn’t like pants and likes to free-ball it where ever he goes. Even though he’s usually straddling a honey pot or sometimes finds himself landing on top of Piglet from time to time after falling from a tree, he doesn’t give a crap. It’s comfortable, there’s no “no shoes, no shirt, no pants, no service” sign so he’ll do whatever he feels like doing.
3. There are no pants that fit that gigantic freaking stomach of his along with his short stubby legs.
4. He’d look like he was wearing an outfit purposely exposing his midriff and doesn’t want to be called out on his metro-sexual tendencies.
5. Finally, he could just be completely high and forgot to wear pants. Considering he sees flying translucent elephants and giant talking honey pots from time to time, I wouldn’t put being high past him.
So there you have it. He wears no pants for these possible reasons. Tell me if you can think of any more ridiculous reasons as to why he can’t seem to embody a little bit of decency.