Why does Pooh wear no pants?


So, to stray from my streak of seriousness, yes streak even though I’ve only posted two, I’m going to tackle this question that I’ve never been able to find an answer to.

Don’t give me that answer of “he’s a doll so Christopher Robin didn’t put it on him”  nonsense. If the bear can reach into a honey pot or even go up on to a tree to grab a beehive to find honey, then he can find some legitimate clothes to wear.

Tigger wears no clothes so he’s a nudist, piglet is always in some old swimsuit looking thing so he’s covered, and the rest, well none of them really wear any clothes. So why just Pooh? Now I’m finding out that people have “Pooh Parties” meaning that everyone is required to only wear a shirt. No pants, no shoes, no underwear; just a shirt. THEN I came across a shirt that had Pooh and Tigger jumping into a pool. Why is it that Pooh is shirtless in that picture but wearing swimming trunks?! I just don’t understand!

As trivial as this whole thought process or rant may be, it bothers me. The lack of any kind of logic in the matter, doesn’t matter if he’s a cartoon or not, just irks me. I’m sure there are other characters that share the same kind of idiotic clothing malfunction, but maybe it’s because I’ve been called Pooh Bear for so long that I’m starting to feel a little more animosity towards the subject. Why is this idiot not wearing pants?! Why is that considered adorable? If it is the case that Christopher Robin put the shirt on him, then where the hell are the pants? Preoccupied with playing with the other stuffed dolls my ass! The shirt itself is too small for the fat ball of fur as it is; not giving him pants is like an insult to injury. I swear to god I’ve seen pictures of Pooh Bear depicted as a cub and he’s wearing diapers… I’m sure he takes a crap where ever the hell he wants as it is! Why the diaper?

It’s funny how all these questions appear just from the initial question of why he wears no pants. It greatly confuses me. What’s a bear to do? Either wear the whole god damn outfit or just don’t wear it at all! Christopher Robin, that neglectful SOB, can suck it haha. The damn bears outgrown his shirt from ages ago…at least have the decency to replace the damn thing.

So here’s my take on it.

1. Christopher Robin is an ass. I don’t care if he’s a kid or not, he’s still an ass for not giving the bear pants. I’m sure he’s got tons of them in his room that he can’t wear.

2. Pooh doesn’t like pants and likes to free-ball it where ever he goes. Even though he’s usually straddling a honey pot or sometimes finds himself landing on top of Piglet from time to time after falling from a tree, he doesn’t give a crap. It’s comfortable, there’s no “no shoes, no shirt, no pants, no service” sign so he’ll do whatever he feels like doing.

3. There are no pants that fit that gigantic freaking stomach of his along with his short stubby legs.

4. He’d look like he was wearing an outfit purposely exposing his midriff and doesn’t want to be called out on his metro-sexual tendencies.

5. Finally, he could just be completely high and forgot to wear pants. Considering he sees flying translucent elephants and giant talking honey pots from time to time, I wouldn’t put being high past him.

So there you have it. He wears no pants for these possible reasons. Tell me if you can think of any more ridiculous reasons as to why he can’t seem to embody a little bit of decency.


9 thoughts on “Why does Pooh wear no pants?

  1. I’ve never been a fan of Pooh, but perhaps he doesn’t wear pants because he’s a teddy bear who only lives in Christopher Robin’s imagination (and the rest of the Poohverse are also the kid’s toys), and a great many teddy bears, if they wear clothing at all, only wear shirts. My good luck charm, Pete, is one such bear. So those would be my thoughts on the matter…and while that never bothered me before, I’m sure it will every time I am confronted with Pooh Bear from now on.

    1. Thanks for stopping by! I’m sorry if i left a lasting negative imprint of pooh bear in your mind but its definitely something i’ve thought about and never could really formulate a good answer to. Even if that’s the case for other bears as well, i don’t understand why they can’t wear pants haha. It just becomes an endless cycle of “why not.” I found a pooh bear doll from when i was younger and it has overalls on… so yeah.

  2. Wow, I’ve never thought about why Pooh-san only wears a shirt! Maybe rubbing his tummy after eating honey is less satisfying if he’s wearing pants, because of the bulge they’d cause? Oh, bother!

    1. Thanks for stopping by!
      Right? I’m not crazy in thinking that its so odd but then again, that image of rubbing his belly actually reminds me of those tv shows where they show a couch potato on his lazy-boy chair with a beer with nothing but a beater and his boxers; of course you can’t forget the gigantic gut haha

  3. Clearly you don’t remember Chandler Bing from friends and his rant on Donald Duck.. he too does not wear pants, yet when he gets out of the shower… he has a towel draped across his waist…
    What’s the deal with that?! there’s my two cents buddy.

    1. I did grow up watching Friends and I do vaguely remember that scene. It’s forever going to be a mystery unless we can ask the original artist as to what he was smoking when he decided to make all these characters walk around with no pants/underwear

  4. Walt Disney forced Pooh Bear to wear a shirt, in A. A. Milne’s books Whinnie the Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner Pooh does not wear any cloths.

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