Wow, I’m getting old

I’m sure a lot of people will want to destroy me after knowing that I wrote that title in as a 26 year old, but I say “to each his own.” Within my group of friends as well as those around me, I feel as if I am starting to get old and that my youth is slipping away from me. 

My co-workers tell me that I’m still in my prime and that 26 should be a time when you’re having the time of your life. That may be so but time is subjective so you have no right to tell me what I should be feeling or what I shouldn’t be. I look around my peers and also those who are much younger and realize that time just flew right over me and left me to wonder as to how I got here. The years of struggling through college, figuring out what I want, and ultimately not being able to do it; who knew that that started 8 years ago because it feels like it was yesterday when I moved into my freshman dorm. 

Three years ago, I graduated from college and went along the road of applying to graduate school only to fail in the attempt after two years of trying. At the time, my thought process told me that I’m still young and that I have time to go ahead and pursue what I thought was a dream. Three years down the road, here I am working as a Marketing assistant. Is it still to early for me to be reminiscing of what could’ve been? Probably, but I’m going to do it anyway. 

Definitely had my depressing moments, wondering if ending my life with one swift turn of the steering wheel would be a good way to go rather than dealing with the disappointment of not just my own but also my parents and those around me. Unable to go to graduate school and unable to find a legitimate job, I was a 26 year old with nothing going for me up until last month. I’m so glad that I didn’t take that route, because life is kind of fun now. 

I spoke to a friend last night. It hit me that four years down the road I’ll be thirty and that all our lives will probably be different. Weddings left and right, families, and kids; oh boy, how will I manage when that change comes around. Eight years passed by me in a matter of moments; I wonder how fast these next four years will pass. I’m sure I’ll look back on this post a few years down the road and either kick myself in the butt for being so wrong or commend myself for the accuracy of my prediction skills. 

From the words of my friend’s new girlfriend, “life is too short to be working all the time.” It definitely is. I’m taking it by the neck from now on and moving forward. It’s too short for me to consider the would haves and could haves; live in the now with a vision for the future. 

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